A bit about jealousy:
“The most destructive of passions—it is a leading cause of homicide—
and the least studied, it is, like all emotions, born of necessity,
with roots deep in our evolutionary past. Its purpose: to help maintain
intimate relationships...” Psychology Today
"The paradox of jealousy is that we all want some of it," says Stosny.
It's a measure of commitment. "In small doses it's an expression of caring.
It's like a way of testing whether it's safe to invest more emotion.
It's safe when a person cares enough to be uncomfortable.
Jealousy is a fear of losing something you perceive you have—
the affection, the fidelity of another person. The threat of losing it tests
how much you value it.”
Jealousy can be as exciting as it can be debilitating. It is, however, not love;
it’s the fear and anger of losing out or being abandoned. Its basic premise
is fear and insecurity.
Envy and Jealousy are often thought to be the same emotion.
They are not, although they can go side by side. And what a mix that can be.
Envy, however unpleasant, usually doesn’t contain a sense of betrayal
and resultant outrage and Jealousy does not need to contain an acute
sense of inferiority.
| ENVY | JEALOUSY |
|---|---|
| wanting what one does not have, | keeping what one has, |
| a reaction to lacking something, | a reaction to the threat of losing something, |
| is a two-person situation If your best friend buys that something you’ve had your eye on, you want to be happy for them, instead you feel bitter envy | is a three-person situation, i.e. in lovers' triangles: or sibling rivalry: fear of losing parental love |
| Wanting what someone else has and resenting them for having it. | you think someone’s trying to take what’s yours. |
